Issa Business Trip: How Ariana Grande Sweetened A Monday

Nothing jumpstarts a day better than hotel room coffee with a little sweetener mixed in. A pinch of sugar substitute somehow transforms an adequate dose of caffeine into a heavenly injection of pure energy. Ariana Grande’s Sweetener World Tour has a similar effect. It made a stop in Washington, D.C., this past Monday, and I just so happened to be in the nation’s capital for business anyway. My first live look at the pop superstar turned a standard work trip into an unforgettable experience.

My week started smoothly enough. On my Sunday flight in, I learned all about Nebraska from the latest issue of American Way. That night, I drank a milkshake at something called “Shake Shack.” Upon returning to the hotel, I slouched into bed, turned on March Madness, and dozed off faster than you can say “University of California Irvine Anteaters.” The following morning, thanks to a boost from my room’s Keurig, I put in several productive hours at the office. All in all, a good time.

Then, I added Sweetener. At lunchtime on Monday I took a leisurely 1.4-mile stroll to Capital One Arena so that I could see Ari’s face on an LED screen outside. For my afternoon break, I patronized a certain Seattle-based coffee chain to try a grande Ariana-sponsored Cloud Macchiato. Though the foam-laden bundle of calories itself didn’t shatter my world, I relished in drinking coffee approved by the former Cat Valentine herself.

With nightfall came the actual concert. If you found it difficult to wait four paragraphs to see what I thought about it, consider the fact that I bought my ticket four months ago. Ever since my purchase, I’ve changed my Twitter handle from “D.C. 3/25 🖤” to “D.C 1 Week! 🖤” to “D.C. TOMORROW! 🖤” to “D.C. TODAY TODAY TODAY!!🖤”

At last, at 7:13 p.m. on March 25th, 2019, I heard the sweet dee-do-doo chime of the ticket scanner. The long-awaited moment had arrived.

Unlike the Ari lookalikes in attendance, I chose my sweatpants-themed costume in the pursuit of comfort. The wide freedom of movement came in handy climbing to my seat. I had assumed I wouldn’t be able to see Ariana’s sweat from row Q of the upper level, but imagine my delight upon realizing I was literally in the arena’s top row. I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Best seats in the house.

After a couple of party-starting sets from special guests Social House and Normani, the arena lights stayed dim. Over the course of the next several minutes, chatter turned to murmurs turned to chants of “Ari, Ari!” When the remaining stage lights fell away, leaving the building in complete darkness, the crowd noise dissipated into silence. A burning sun appeared on the stage backdrop and the speakers began to play a song.

When raindrops fell down from the sky

The day you left me,

An angel cried.

By the end of the first verse of “raindrops (an angel cried),” squeals and screams from Ari’s horde of fans drowned out her vocals. When everyone’s hero appeared in the flesh, the noise grew even louder. Over the next 90 or so minutes, Ariana proceeded to exceed the hype.

“God is a woman“ shook the building right away — Ari meant it when she said she “don’t wanna waste no time, yuh.” I don’t think she was so serious a few songs later when she said she was bored and pleaded for me to break up with my girlfriend (who definitely, totally, for sure exists and is certainly not made up).

Following the introductory string of high-charting hits came the hit, the song that hours earlier cemented its spot at the top of the Billboard Hot 100 for the seventh week. While I can’t speak personally to the experience of buying seven engagement rings at once, obviously Ariana can, which magnifies the powerhouse mega-bop “7 rings.” Ari’s retail therapy escapades have brought her so much attention that she even scored an appearance in my hotel’s “Washington Billionaires” magazine despite the fact that she is neither from Washington nor a billionaire.

Even when the crowd didn’t recognize Ariana’s lesser-known songs, especially the unreleased “She Got Her Own,” the show dazzled. The stage lit up with a rainbow of effects, my personal favorite being the cascading waterfall backdrop during “R.E.M.” As if that wasn’t fancy enough, at one point the world’s largest disco ball descended from the ceiling. It reflected a starry night before becoming the moon during “goodnight n go,” giving me a bird’s eye view of the solar system’s majesty.

Fittingly, the final act of the show kicked off with the iconic “One Last Time.” As she marched through more of her smash hits, Ari gained even more momentum. Almost 30 songs into its setlist, the concert even survived the out-of-place “You wouldn’t let anybody speak!” sample woven into the otherwise otherworldly “the light is coming.”

The night’s penultimate offering, “no tears left to cry,” marked a new era for Ari last year as the lead single to her first post-Manchester album. In person, the song seemed to signal a different beginning: (hopefully) the start of Queen Ariana’s long reign atop mainstream music. That said, once the curtain fell, nobody dared leave their seats yet.

I’m 99% certain security barred the doors to prevent anyone from exiting before the encore. Those rushing home to catch the news notwithstanding, who could possibly come to an Ariana Grande concert in 2019 and not stay for “thank u, next”? The song, arguably the most meme-able of all time, plays everywhere from frozen yogurt shops to basketball games. I even heard it in a dream once.

Sadly, it turns out Ari did in fact have a few tears left to cry. The emotions of thanking her exes, particularly the late Mac Miller, overwhelmed her at first. But everyone on planet Earth knows the song by heart now, so the audience joined in to make sure it never skipped a beat. Once she recovered, Ariana finished off the thrilling night with one last victory dance around the stage, waving to each and every one of the 15,683 Arianators in attendance. I know she saw me wave back.

When the arena lights fired back up, I noticed that the people around me had lost their minds (in a good way). One starstruck fan even left behind a perfectly delicious bag of popcorn, which I couldn’t resist snatching. I jaunted back to my hotel happily chomping away at every last kernel. Truly an outstanding Monday night. And it was all thanks to the sweetener called Ariana Grande.

I can’t wait to do it all again in 86 days; Ari returns to D.C. for round two on June 21st. It just so happens I have another business trip scheduled for that week.